I won't go into the details, but I will say it takes a LOT for my mom to end a friendship with someone, and this woman managed to do it.
I went to the funeral of that person today. Mom and I went together. It was beautiful, but her family COMPLETELY ignored her chosen recessional hymn and put in something else. This person wanted "Jesus, Remember Me" and instead the family threw in "How Great Thou Art" despite hearing many times what this woman wanted. So after the funeral, I stood by the hearse and I sang "Jesus, Remember Me" all by myself. I shut my eyes and forgave, and I stopped hearing the people around me. It was just me in the presence of God, giving the gift of my voice to say goodbye.
You know what? The anger I had lifted away. I gave it to God, and now it's gone. She is at peace and I am at peace knowing she is out of pain. It was exactly the same feeling I had when I did my cover of Linkin Park's Iridescent, and I'm so glad I did it.
Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.
Today is also the one year anniversary of Amanda Todd's suicide. Amanda Todd was the straw the broke the camel's back for me. She needed someone to stand up for her, to help her, to hold her and tell her she meant something. My regret is not knowing about her sooner and not creating my message sooner. Amanda Todd is the reason my message exists. Too many people use the internet to hurt people. Dammit, I'm going to use it to heal!
And that is what I set out to do.
In exactly one week, the Affirmations for Bullying Victims will celebrate its one year anniversary. I don't regret it one bit. I don't expect thanks or recognition, I want only for those in pain to find hope in my message.